This Is Why You're Not Meeting Your Goals
In full transparency, this article was challenging to write. A week ago, The Female Hustler asked me if I'd like to do a piece on Goals and I immediately said yes. At the time, working out of habit I knew that I could burst something out - no problem. What I didn't expect was what to do if INSPIRATION didn't show up.
Like most writers, I start with an idea, a topic. I research, I ask questions, I meditate (like any conscious, green drinking, yogi in Southern California would do) and then I come to my laptop and begin to orchestrate the words. The only problem is that nothing came to mind. You see, two weeks ago a very important man in my life died, my grandfather. My mom and I rushed as quickly as we could to Georgia to be by his side for his final days. In that time, life. My life, seemed to stop. All that I thought was important, urgent, necessary, fell by the wayside. The only thing that mattered or filled my Passion Planner was spending time with him.
So in the days that followed I slowly begin to forget all the things on my endless to do list, and I slowly forgot the reasons I needed to rush and dare I say it....hustle. As with any death experience - when it happens to you, your priorities shift. You pivot in your thinking and realize all the things you missed, lost, haven't done. Now don't get me wrong, this is not going to be an article about regrets, I'm not going to stand here and tell you the hustle isn't worth it in the end. I wouldn't dare try and tell you, that I'm a different person now and no longer care about my "laptop lifestyle" or my need to have a millionaire dollar + empire. I will tell you that my reasons have changed, but none the less my goals are the same.
I believe that goals keep us on track. Our goals have the power to light a fire under our ass and propel us into new heights. I believe that our goals can stop us dead in our tracks, if we aren't careful and mindful; but they can also shift us into greatness. So how do you come up with goals, create a plan and execute that plan for success.
In the week I spent at the bedside of my grand-dad, in his quiet, tranquil hospice room - I realized that my goals to be a boss, to write my own ticket and make my own rules were even more important, but I had been to busy, staying busy to really make any headway.
- How often have you written down your goals, post them and leave them. Only to return a few weeks later and realize you hadn't even begun?
- How often have you set goals so high that they excite you and paralyze you at the same time?
- How often have you set goals that were passed down to you by generations, goals that you felt you needed to accomplish but somewhere in your heart knew, they just didn't resonate?
Women are the first to set a goal so high, only to beat ourselves up by not reaching it. We set goals that we believe we should do because society tells us or our parents instill in us. Women will set a goal with no clear path to achieving it and quit because it's seems not possible instead of creating the impossible.
Let's stop that today. Since, I started this article about death I feel it's only appropriate that I remind you that death is imminent and what you do today will either leave a legacy of grace, power and success or not. There is no in between. So I ask you,
- What do you want to achieve more than anything in this life?
- How do you want to feel, every day (possible) on the way to achieving that goal?
- What do you want to experience on the way to achieving that goal?
- What are you willing to give up? Who are you willing to leave behind?
- What are your non-negotiables?
- What are you willing to compromise?
You see, when setting a goal - I (like most of us) will jot down the things I want -
1) Own my own business
2) Have 20 new accounts by November 1st
3) Average 5 figures a month in profits (consistently for 3 months)
4) Take a mini vacation every 90 days
5) Start a blog
6) Open my online store
You get the idea - but what we don't include in those wants are the plan, many of us don't think about the true cost at stake. This is where we lose. Setting a goal is great and we all should but to be truly boss at accomplishing those goals we have to have the full picture. We need to know what it's really going to entail. I hope by now we're all past The Secret and know that sitting on our couch, wishing and praying isn't going to cut it. I hope we know that some elbow grease and leg work is required. To be the master of your ship and the commander of your dreams you've got to take hold.
When I mentioned above that my goals were still the same but my reasons had changed - I meant that I don't just want to own my own business - I want to own my own business because I want to have control over my time. I want this more than anything because it feels empowering. It feels good to help others and inspire other women to go after their dreams. I want to wake up everyday knowing that I am doing my part in making this world better. I'm not willing to compromise my integrity, my sense of worth or my values. I am open to how long it will actually take to get there, but I'm willing to give up my time, my energy, my space and I'm more than willing to leave behind the person I used to be for the person I need to be.
Goals are more than just words on a page, take some time and really put your mind, your heart and your soul into them. You might surprise yourself in what stirs. Your goals should be big, they should be scary, they should cause hesitation - because if they don't then why the hell do you want it? I invite you to take sometime today, start answering the questions above while jotting down the your goals. Get a clear idea of what it's really going to take to reach them and what steps you need know in order to get that much closer to them.
Go get em, goal getter!