Just breathe

 

“I GOT IT! I GOT IT!” I’m literally jumping up and down, scaring the crap out of my kids, as they rush into the living room asking “Mom, did we win the lottery?” Mind, you the second largest Powerball at $758 million had been claimed before we woke up. Even though I broke the devastating news that morning, the hope that we had won could be the only logical explanation for my sudden game show winneresque behavior. “No, I got the job! I explained. They picked me! They picked me!” I shouted. Confusion. Little eyes dart about, sibling to sibling and then back at me. Gasp! I had forgotten that I didn’t tell anybody, except for my fiancé, that I submitted to be a writer for The Female Hustlers. I quickly explained how I applied as they began to erupt in celebration. My heart seemed to stop right then. Oh my gosh. I was selected. They really liked my work. Soon my family started firing questions, like, “Are you going to be like the YouTubers and make money?” “When do you start?” Who’s your boss?” These were all questions that I had no answers for, and panic began to commence. I suddenly felt my body begin to tense and perspire, so I made a quick slip to the bathroom.

Breathe. Breathe. Just breathe. I had to remind myself that this was the work of the universe; the cosmos met with the Creator and they reviewed the numerous times that they had heard me pray; Enlarge my territory. Widen my scope. I know that there is more for me. Sharpen the vision. Give me clarity and direction. These had long been the secret prayers and sacred words that only my journals knew and that I had only uttered aloud to other people as of 2015.

Whenever our dreams and most intimate of desires move into alignment with our purpose, something awakens within us. This awakening is not gentle and forthcoming, but is rather violent and abrupt. Remember to breathe. Let every emotion-joy, pride, anxiety, fear and determination-let it all happen. For this is the breaking of the water. You are full-term and dilating. Contractions are coming so be ready to breathe. You’ve got this. I’ve got this.